Talking Dog--$10.

If this doesn’t make you laugh….you are having a really bad day!
      
 A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your

   story?'

 
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had  me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

   'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around  really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down.

   I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near  suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was

   awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a Democrat and a liar. He never did any of that crap.

   

MardiBra

Now this is a little cheeky! What?

What is YOUR life expectancy?

 This is a calculator that estimates your life expectancy.  

It was developed by Northwestern Mutual Life. 

It's interesting that there are only 13 questions.

Yet, they can predict how long you're likely to live.

<http://media.nmfn.com/tnetwork/lifespan>

How long will you live?

Flash--NC--Jeff Gordon

Raleigh , NC

Jeff Gordon announced today that he was firing his entire pit crew. This announcement followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of President Obama's scheme to employ Harlem youngsters. The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with thousands of dollars worth of high tech equipment.

It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits. However, Gordon got more than he bargained for.

 

At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to

Dale Earnhardt Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower.

Will Uncle Sam Be Pushed off a Cliff?

Hotel/Motel Scam (This one is so simple it is shocking)
This is kinda scary if only because of how simple it is.
I'll bet this works all too often.
You arrive at your hotel and check in at the front desk. When
checking in, you give the front desk your credit card (for all the
charges for your room). You get to your room and settle in.
Someone calls the front desk and asked for (example) Room 620
(which happens to be your room). Your phone rings in your room.
You answer and the person on the other end says the following,
'This is the front desk. When checking in, we came across a problem
with your charge card information. Please re-read me your credit
card number and verify the last 3 digits numbers at the reverse side
of your charge card.'

Not thinking anything you might give this person your information,
since the call seems to come from the front desk. But actually, it
is a scam of someone calling from outside the hotel/front desk.
They ask for a random room number. Then, ask you for credit card
information and address information. Sounding so professional that
you do think you are talking to the front desk.
If you ever encounter this problem on your vacation, tell the caller
that you will be down at the front desk to clear up any problems.
Then, go to the front desk and ask if there was a problem. If there
was none, inform the manager of the hotel that someone called to scam
you of your credit card information acting like a front desk
employee.

This was sent by someone who has been duped........and is still
clearing up the mess....

P.S. Please everyone, help spread the word by forwarding this email
to everyone you know.. Who knows, you might just help someone avoid
a nasty experience.

1% today, 10% next year?

OPEN YOUR EYES...The Dems are at it again.--Be ever vigilent!!

> : 1% tax on all bank transactions HR4646
>
> Watch for this AFTER November elections; remember
> this BEFORE you VOTE in case you think Obama's
> looking out for your best interest.
>
> 1% tax on all bank transactions HR 4646
>
> This government just cannot think of enough ways to hurt the American people!This Bill must die     FORWARD THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!
>
> 1% tax on all bank transactions HR 4646 - ANOTHER NEW OBAMA TAX SLIPPED IN WHILE WE WERE ASLEEP.
> Checked this on snopes, it's true! Check out HR 4646.  (see below copied from Snopes)
>
>
> President Obama's finance team is recommending a one percent (1%) transaction fee (TAX). Obama's plan is to sneak it in after the November
> elections to keep it under the radar.
>
>
> This is a 1% tax on all transactions at any financial institution - banks, credit unions, savings and loans, etc. Any deposit you make, or even a transfer within your account, will have a 1% tax charged.
> ~If your paycheck or your social security or whatever is direct deposit, it will get a 1% tax charged for the transaction.
> ~If your paycheck is $1000, then you will pay Obama $10 just for the privilege of depositing your paycheck in your bank. Even if you hand carry your paycheck or any check into your bank for a deposit, 1% tax will be charged.~You receive a $5,000 stock dividend from your broker, Obama takes $50 just to allow you to deposit that check in the bank.
> ~If you take $1,000 cash to deposit at your bank, 1% tax will be charged.
>
>
> Mind you, this is from the man who promised that, if you make under $250,000 per year, you will not see one penny of new tax. Keep your eyes and ears open, you will be amazed at what you learn about this guy's under-the-table moves to increase the number of ways you are taxed.
>
>
> ~Oh, and by the way, you receive a refund from the IRS next year and you have it direct deposited or you walk in to deposit that check, you guessed it. You will pay a 1% charge of that money just for putting it in your bank. Remember,
> any money, cash, check or whatever, no matter where it came from, you will pay a 1% fee if you put it in the bank.
>
>
>  Some will say, oh well, it's just 1%. Are you kidding me? It's a 1% tax increase across the board. Remember, once the tax is there, they can also raise it at will. And if anyone protests, they will just say, "oh,that's not really a tax, it's a user fee"! Think this is no big deal? Go back and look at the transactions you
> made from last year's banking statements. Then add the total of all those transactions and deduct 1%.
> Still think it's no big deal???
>
>
>
>       1. snopes.com : Debt Free America Act - Is the U.S. government proposing a 1% tax on debit card usage and/or banking transactions?
>         ...It is true. The bill is HR-4646 introduced by US Rep Peter
> deFazio D-Oregon and US Senator Tom Harkin D-Iowa. Their plan is
> to sneak it in after the...   ...moved beyond proposing studies and submitted the Debt Free
> America Act (H.R. 4646) , a bill calling for the implementation of
> a scheme to pay down the...
>         ...[2010] by Rep. Chaka Fattah (D-Pa.). His "Debt Free America
> Act" (H.R. 4646) would impose a 1 percent "transaction tax" on
> every financial transaction...
>       Tue, 12 Oct 2010 11:26:37 GMT
> http://www.snopes.com/politics/taxes/debtfree.asp

1% is not too hurtful--the slippery slope however is another story. How long would it stay at 1%--1 day, a week?  

In the Macho-man world---It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... And it's delivered by a topless model and
only when it's free.

Very short. Worth the watch.

This summer, the renowned director/producer Ridley Scott launched a global filmmaker competition dubbed “Tell It Your Way” following its Cannes Lions award-winning short-film project “Parallel Lines.” The entrants were given freedom of expression and could take up any theme they wanted; still there were two strict rules—there had to be the exact six-line dialogue as it was in the Parallel Lines films, plus the entries could last no longer than three minutes.

Here’s the prize-winning entry in the “Tell It Your Way” competition.

http://www.porcelainunicorn.com/

If you happen to be a Harley rider or know someone who is -----!!!!!

A tough looking group of Harley riders were riding by when they saw a girl standing on a bridge railing, so they stopped.  The leader, a large heavily-muscled, bearded man, got off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he also didn't want to miss an opportunity.  He asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So, she does and it was a long, deep, passionately lingering kiss.

After they finished, the biker says, "Wow!  That was the best kiss I've ever had.  That's a real talent you are wasting.  You could be famous.  Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

Okla homa

How do YOU pronounce Oklahoma ?
Do you think it's correct?

There is a right way and a wrong  way to pronounce Oklahoma . 

If you say OK...LAHOMA
You're WRONG.

The proper way is:
OKLA .....HOMA.  There's a gap between the 'a' and the 'h'.

I can prove it.....................
  
      

    
    
    
   
   
  
There, you learned  
something today!

I do love these educational
posts.... Don't you?

The problems we face today exist
because the people who work
for a living are outnumbered by those
who vote for a living.