Entitlements my ass, I paid cash for my Social Security Insurance! Just because they borrowed my money, doesn't make my benefits some kind of charity or handout! Congressional benefits like free health care, outrageous retirement packages, 67 paid holidays, three weeks paid vacation, unlimited paid sick days: now that's welfare; and they have the nerve to call my retirement entitlements!

Marcus Latrell--my new hero

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5k18f_marcus-luttrell-texas-super-soldier_fun 

3 pokes is a very patient temperament.

I would have done the same thing after 2 pokes. 

I'm jealous--I would love to kick the shit out of some loud-mouth lib.

Hobbits--yes we are!

HOBBIT'S Rock; Libs--Don't go pissing off a Hobbit!!

He will find a way to punish you with facts and logic!

Somewhere in France

Young Love

How could one not love a Hobbit. Libs screwed up big time on this one. If I am labeled a Hobbit, it would give me great  pleasure because they are a force for good. 

Either President Obama's hiding something or he's trying to scare Congress into submission. Last week he threatened to hold senior citizens' Social Security checks hostage if Congress didn't resolve the debt ceiling crisis. He claimed that "there may simply not be the money in the coffers to do it." According to NCPA Senior Fellow Thomas Saving in a Wall Street Journal editorial last Friday, that's a lie. The system is set up so there's plenty of money-unless Obama has other plans for it beside the retired people who depend on their monthly checks to pay rent and utilities.
So why the strong rhetoric? Saving called the president out for using these deceitful scare tactics to strong-arm Congress into giving him the debt ceiling increase he wants.

Woman gets jury trial for displaying plastic testicles on truck - Live5News.com | Charleston, SC | News, Weather, Sports

Woman gets jury trial for displaying plastic testicles on truck - Live5News.com | Charleston, SC | News, Weather, Sports

One day a man decided to retire...   He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.                     He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.   After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you

come from?  How did you get here?"

She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island.

The oars were whittled from gum tree

branches. I wove the bottom from

palm tree branches, and the sides

and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied

the woman. "On the south side of the

island, a very unusual stratum

of alluvial rock is exposed.  I found

that if I fired it to a certain temperature

in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron I

used that to make tools and used the

tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says.

 

So, after a short time of rowing, she

soon docks the boat at a small wharf.

As the man looks to shore, he nearly

falls off the boat. Before him is a long

stone walk leading to an cabin

and treehouse.

 

While the woman ties up the rowboat

with an expertly woven hemp rope,

the man can only stare ahead,

dumb struck.  As they walk into the

house, she says casually,

"It's not much, but I call it home.  Sit down, please."

"Would you like a drink?"

"No!  No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed.  "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still.  How would you like a Tropical Spritz?"
 
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.

After they exchange their individual

survival stories, the woman announces,

"I'm going to slip into something more

comfortable.  Would you like to take a

shower and shave?  There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."

No longer questioning anything,

the man goes upstairs into the

bathroom.  There, in the cabinet

is a razor made from a piece of

tortoise bone.  Two shells honed

to a hollow ground edge are

fastened on to its end inside

a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he muses. 

"What's next?"

 

When he returns, she greets him

wearing nothing but some small

flowers on tiny vines, each strategically

positioned, she smelled faintly of

gardenias. She then beckons for him

to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively,

slithering closer to him, "We've

both been out here for many months.

You must have been lonely. There's

something I'm certain you feel like

doing right now, something you've

been longing for, right?"  She stares

into his eyes.

He can't believe what he's hearing.

"You mean..." he swallows excitedly

as tears start to form in his eyes,

 

"You've built a GolfCourse ?" 

More Bogus Data from DC!!

When the pinheads in DC talk about budget cuts--they do not mean spending less than last year--they mean cuts in what they were planning to spend. It is comparable to my driving a Chevy ($20K) but planning to get a Bentley ($150K) next year. My cut would involve saving $100K by getting my $50K Porsche. More devious deception from the ruling class!!

 

Seat color--anything but flesh color

When purchasing a bicycle........
no matter how cute you are......
be SURE to consider the colour of the seat!

,

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.

Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.  They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

"How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather tentatively.

"I would like it infrequently," she replied.

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered - "Is that one word or two?"

Blond Pole Dancer

Beautiful Blondie Pole Dancer
If you should find it too offensive,
please advise, and I will remove your name
promptly from this type of emails!
(Open Discreetly)
Please scroll down ....

 

 

Now  here’s a challenge!
For all of you who keep thinking you are computer experts .......

Try this!

Let's see  how computer literate you really are ....

"What would cause this string to appear on your computer screen"?  

123490=\qweriop[  asdhjkl (zxcvnm

Give up ?

Well if you are curious to know the answer ....... see below !!

|

Yes, that would do it !!

Shakespeare 25 ways.

Watch a Guy Recite Shakespeare With 25 Different Celebrity Impressions

Jim Meskimen, who's been the voice of something in a number of your favorite movies, shows, and video games, would now like to perform a monologue for you. He's like an Elizabethan Kevin Spacey.

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2011/07/shakespeare_impressions.html 

Arizona Governor vs. Phoenix Suns Owner -

I'd say she makes a pretty good case with her analogy!!

The owner of the Phoenix Suns basketball team, Robert Sarver,
came out strongly opposing AZ's new immigration laws.

Arizona's Governor, Jan Brewer, released the following statement
in response to Sarver's criticism of the new law:

"What if the owners of the Suns discovered that hordes of people
were sneaking into games without paying? What if they had a
good idea who the gate-crashers are, but the ushers and
security personnel were not allowed to ask these folks to
produce their ticket stubs, thus non-paying attendees couldn't
be ejected.
Furthermore, what if Suns' ownership was expected to provide
those who sneaked in with complimentary eats and drink? And
what if, on those days when a gate-crasher became ill or injured,
the Suns had to provide free medical care and shelter?"
- Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer

PC

Time Flies-Enjoy each phase to it's fullest!!

VIDEO: Another "You Lied" moment.

He has lied so often--why does BHO continue to state these absurd lies when no one trusts him with "facts" anymore. VIDEO: Another "You Lied" moment.

THE STORY BEHIND THE PICTURE OF THE PRAYING HANDS

Back in the fifteenth century, in a tiny village near Nuremberg, lived a family with eighteen children.Eighteen! In order merely to keep food on the table for this mob, the father and head of the household, a goldsmith by profession, worked almost eighteen hours a day at his trade and any other paying chore he could find in the neighborhood.

Despite their seemingly hopeless condition, two of the elder children, Albrecht and Albert, had a dream. They both wanted to pursue their talent for art, but they knew full well that their father would never be financially able to send either of them to Nurembergto study at the Academy.

After many long discussions at night in their crowded bed, the two boys finally worked out a pact. They would toss a coin. The loser would go down into the nearby mines and, with his earning, support his
brother while he attended the academy. Then, when that brother who won the toss completed his studies, in four years, he would support the other brother at the academy, either with sales of his artwork or, if necessary, also by laboring in the mines.

They tossed a coin on a Sunday morning after church. Albrecht Durer won the toss and went off to Nuremberg.

Albert went down into the dangerous mines and, for the next four years, financed his brother, whose work at the academy was almost an immediate sensation. Albrecht's etchings, his woodcuts, and his oils were far better than those of most of his professors, and by the time he graduated, he was beginning to earn considerable fees for his commissioned works.

When the young artist returned to his village, the Durer family held a festive dinner on their lawn to celebrate Albrecht's triumphant homecoming. After a long and memorable meal, punctuated with music and laughter, Albrecht rose from his honored position at the head of the table to drink a toast to his beloved brother for the years of sacrifice that had enabled Albrecht to fulfill his ambition. His closing words were, "And now, Albert, blessed brother of mine, now it is your turn.. Now you can go to Nurembergto pursue your dream, and I will take care of you."

All heads turned in eager expectation to the far end of the table where Albert sat, tears streaming down his pale face, shaking his lowered head from side to side while he sobbed and repeated, over and over, "No ..no ...no ..no."
Finally, Albert rose and wiped the tears from his cheeks. He glanced down the long table at the faces he loved, and then, holding his hands close to his right cheek, he said softly, "No, brother. I cannot go to Nuremberg. It is too late for me. Look ... look what four years in the mines have done to my hands! The bones in every finger have been smashed at least once, and lately I have been suffering from arthritis so badly in my right hand that I cannot even hold a glass to return your toast, much less make delicate lines on parchment or canvas with a pen or a brush. No, brother ...for me it is too late."

More than 450 years have passed. By now, Albrecht Durer's hundreds of masterful portraits, pen and silver-point sketches, watercolors, charcoals, woodcuts, and copper engravings hang in every great museum in the world, but the odds are great that you, like most people, are familiar with only one of Albrecht Durer's works. More than merely being familiar with it, you very well may have a reproduction hanging in your home or office.

One day, to pay homage to Albert for all that he had sacrificed, Albrecht Durer painstakingly drew his brother's abused hands with palms together and thin fingers stretched skyward. He called his powerful drawing simply "Hands," but the entire world almost immediately opened their hearts to his great masterpiece and renamed his tribute of love "The Praying Hands."

The next time you see a copy of that touching creation, take a second look. Let it be your reminder, if you still need one, that no one - no one - - ever makes it alone!

Thanks Denny for this one

 PADDY TAKES THE ELEVATOR

 

            A skinny little white Irishman goes into an elevator, looks up

 and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy

sees the little Irishman staring at him, looks down at him and says,

“Seven feet tall, 350 pounds, a 20-inch penis, 3 pounds of

testicles, Turner Brown.”

    The little Irishman faints and falls to the floor. The big guy

kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. “What’s wrong with

you?” he asks. In a weak voice the little guy says, “What

EXACTLY did you say to me?”

    The big dude says, “I saw your curious look and figured

 I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone

always asks me: I’m seven feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds,

 have a 20-inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles and my name

 is Turner Brown.”

    The pale-faced little Irishman says, “Turner Brown!…

Sweet Jesus, I thought you said ‘Turn around’!”

 Wal-Mart  vs. The Morons 

1.  Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every  hour of every day.

2. This works out to $20,928 profit every  minute!

3. Wal-Mart will sell more from  January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th)
than Target sells all year.

4. Wal-Mart is  bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target +Sears  + Costco +
 K-Mart combined.

5. Wal-Mart  employs 1.6 million people, is the world's  largest private employer,
and most speak  English.

6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.

7.  Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and  Safeway combined,
and keep in mind they did this  in only fifteen years.

8. During this  same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought  bankruptcy.

9. Wal-Mart now sells more  food than any other store in the world.

10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900  stores in the  USA of which 1,906 are Super  Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had five  years ago.

11. This year 7.2 billion  different purchasing experiences will occur at 
Wal-Mart stores. (Earth's population is  approximately 6.5 Billion.)

12. 90% of  all Americans live within fifteen miles of a 
Wal-Mart.  You may think that I am  complaining, but
I am really laying the ground  work for suggesting that
MAYBE we should hire  the guys who run Wal-Mart to fix the  economy.
Better yet, just move The Whitehouse to BENTONVILLE,  ARKANSAS and
 let Walmart take it  over!!!!!!! 

This should be read and understood by all Americans  Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!

To  President Obama and all 535 voting members of  the Legislature,
It is now official that  the majority of you are corrupt morons:

a.. The  U.S. Postal Service  was established in 1775. You have had 234 years  to get it right and it is broke. 

b.. Social  Security was established in 1935. You have had  74 years to get it right and it is  broke.

c.. Fannie  Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71  years to get it right and it is broke.

d.. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have  had 45 years to get it right;
$1 trillion of our  money is confiscated each year and transferred  to "the poor"
and they only want  more.

e.. Medicare and Medicaid were established  in 1965.
You have had 44 years to get it right  and they are broke.
   
f.. Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You  have had 39 years to get it right and it is broke. 

g.. The Department of Energy was created in  1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil.
It  has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget  of $24 billion a year
and we import more oil  than ever before. You had 32 years to get it  right
 and it is an abysmal failure.

You have FAILED in every "government  service" you have shoved down our throats
while  overspending our tax dollars.  

Folks,  keep this circulating. It is very well stated.  Maybe it will end up in the e-mails of
some of  our "duly elected' (they never read anything)  and their staff will clue them
in on how  Americans feel. AND  I know  what's wrong. We have lost our minds to
 "Political Correctness"  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Someone please tell me what the HELL's wrong  with
all the people that run this  country!!!!!!

 We're  "broke" & can't help our own Seniors,  Veterans, Orphans, Homeless  etc.,???????????
In the  last months we have provided aid to Haiti ,  Chile , and Turkey .. And now Pakistan .....home  of bin Laden.  Literally, BILLIONS of  DOLLARS!!!

Our retired seniors  living on a 'fixed income' receive no aid  nor do they get any breaks
while our government  and religious organizations pour Hundreds of Billions  of $$$$$$'s and Tons of Food  to Foreign Countries! We have hundreds of adoptable  children who are shoved aside to make  room for the adoption of foreign  orphans.

AMERICA: a  country where we have homeless without shelter,  children going to bed hungry,
 elderly going without 'needed' meds, and  mentally ill without treatment  -etc,etc.

YET..................They have a 'Benefit' for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations, ships  and planes lining up with food, water, tents clothes, bedding, doctors and medical supplies.   

Imagine  if the *GOVERNMENT* gave 'US' the same support  they give to other countries. 
Sad isn't it?

English Lesson....

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED in

a way that's easy to understand.

Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED. I beg to differ because, there is!

When you marry the right woman, you are "COMPLETE."

And when you marry the wrong one, you are "FINISHED!"

And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are "COMPLETELY FINISHED!!!"

Pets for Adam & Eve

 

 

 

 

The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets  Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'  And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'  And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.  And it was a good animal and God was pleased.    And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'  And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'  And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.  And they were comforted.  And God was pleased.  And Dog was content and wagged his tail.   After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.' And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.'  And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.   And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.    And Adam and Eve learned humility.   And they were greatly improved.   And God was pleased...   And Dog was happy.   And Cat . . .  didn't give a shit one way or the other.

 

Civil War's Commander-in-chief President Lincoln certainly had his share of incompetent Generals--but Grant was not one of them. When a detractor spoke of Grant as an alcoholic, Lincoln jocularly asked what the brand of whiskey the General drank and that he wished to buy a wagon load and get them to all his generals so that they might produce victories in the same number as the General.

Wall Photos

Why Male Elk Have Long Antlers

Why Male Elk Have Long Antlers
 

'It's a guy thing,
regardless of Species

Break it to the kids gently!!

Black Testicles?

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. Nurse,' he mumbles, from behind the mask 'Are my testicles black?' Embarrassed, the young nurse replies 'I don't know,Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body.' He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, are my testicles black?' Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around and around gently. Then, she takes a close look and says, 'No sir, they aren't and I assure you, there's nothing wrong with them, Sir !!' The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, 'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely.....   ' A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s -b a c k ?'

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied,
'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received.
But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed,
''Where are your testicles?''
The old Chief calmly replied, '' Vietnam ''.

A green paradise

Whatever happened to PATRIOTISM?

Even as a teenager, I loved my country. But it was elevated to a passion when I went to my first Tea Party. In my long life I had never even considered carrying a sign in a peaceful protest. I found kindred spirits in great numbers and with a common thread: We love our country and we must do all we can to save it from politicians that seem to no longer care about anything except their own selfish interests. And there must be something we can do about our out-of-control bloated government. I think that these thoughts form the basis for defining Patriotism.

Patriotism, probably do to the popularity of the Tea Party movement, has lately become dinner chatter and been both applauded and maligned by all. For some, it 's a tacky exercise-- best left muted and without fanfare. Some find it a foreign, puzzling emotion, and are often embarrassed by it's display.

But I think that the majority of us are patriots like myself, who feel the goose bumps during the Pledge of Allegiance, and wonder why this feeling isn't universal! One of the many reasons why I am an avid Yankee baseball fan is the tingling experience of the 7^th inning “God Bless America” by the departed but ageless Kate Smith (who no doubt was a patriot).

In grade school and political events it was not unusual to Pledge of Allegiance to the flag. In Civics courses (Remember when it was required fare?) we learned the capitals of all the states and examined the Constitution and it's amendments. In assembly hall (or home room), the stars and stripes hung proudly and the Pledge to the Flag, which every one knew by heart was like saying “Life is Good and God Bless the fact that we live in this great country. And the social stigma of not being a vocal participant was not pretty! Before a basketball game, we prayed for victory and gave thanks when we won and nobody worried about separation of church and state.

Being brought up in rural areas, in the nation's bread basket and a life of uncomplicated basic needs, certainly gives one an added appreciation of their surroundings. My father used to remind me, often--that we fed the world. So being a part of the growing of corn, wheat and live stock, being imbedded in the great outdoors, hard physical work and family teamwork resulted in a personal pride that extended beyond the farm's boundaries.

Parents got us involved with Boy Scouts and FFA (Future Farmers of America) which certainly had a positive influence on us. But I don't ever remember my parents ever talking about “love of country”. I think because we knew little about life outside of our own town, we, by default, gave thanks for what we had in our family dinner prayers. We did not think life could be any better!

On the other hand, outside of parental control, most of today's kids seem not to care about who in their government is manipulating their lives and piling on their personal debt. It is so sad when they do those man-in-the-street NYC interviews and so many of these eligible voters can't even ID their own VP or Attorney General. Yet they have no problem with recognizing JZ, 50cent, Britney Spears or A-Rod.

As I get older (and wiser) I feel that it is very possible to love your country and fear your government.( as is the case at the moment) These feelings are not tied at the hip. Not by a long shot!. James Baldwin, not quite the fountain of conservatism, said “I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.”

What's the moral to this story? As Martha Stewart or John Stossel would say, Patriotism is a “good thing”. One must never apologize for the emotion it often summons. Unless, of course, you can't get through a speech on the subject with out blubbering! I have seen real Patriots make these poignant moving stories without a tear and wonder how they do it. We have found, in the last decade or so, that our representatives no longer represent us. You who straddle the fencen as spectators should be aware that for each single protester out there who carries his own hand made sign--there are millions of us who are mad as Hell and support them-- but we often can't get away to sound off. Unlike our elected representatives, Tea Partiers do care and frequently take stock on how the country is faring. These Super-Patriots get their zeal from the fact that their grass roots pro-activity is working. In other words, all of us, the protesters and those at home are patriotic voters who are paying attention, taking names and coming on strong to take our country back!